Navigating Tragedies and Unforeseen Circumstances in Wedding Planning

Imagine planning the happiest day of your life, only to be struck by a personal tragedy. It's a scenario we wouldn't wish on anyone, yet it's a reality some of us have to face. Join me, Kelly McWilliams, and my co-host, Leah, as we wade through this difficult territory together. We aim to equip you with the knowledge and tools to face adversity head on, to make decisions amidst turmoil and to handle any unforeseen circumstances with grace and sensitivity.

Have you ever considered the role of your vendors and wedding insurance during a crisis? Our discussion shines light on the importance of vendor communication, relying on their experience and seeking their advice during testing times. We also touch upon the importance of wedding insurance, a safety net that many couples overlook. Whether it's a family member falling ill or a tragic loss, lean on us as we tackle these difficult decisions and offer guidance every step of the way.

We also talk about communicating wedding cancellations or rescheduling your wedding to your guests and vendors. Whether it's a local ceremony or a destination wedding, the changes can be overwhelming. We provide detailed guidance on delegating this task to your emergency contact, ensuring that the news is delivered with utmost compassion and sincerity. 

Share your journey with us, ask questions and remember, we're in this together. In times of adversity, you're not alone - we're here to help you navigate through the storm.

Find Leah on Instagram at:
https://www.instagram.com/theleahweinberg/
https://www.instagram.com/oduberglaw/
https://www.instagram.com/legallyset/

Online at:
https://legallyset.com/
https://www.oduberg.com/

Places to go - People to see:

Kelly's Site: http://www.kellymcwilliams.com
Kelly's Blog: https://www.kellymcwilliams.com/blog
Instagram: @kellyamcwilliams

About Kelly:
Kelly knows how incredible a well planned wedding can be. Every moment counts and every decision plays a part. Wedding planning should be fun and as easy to do as possible. Besides planning weddings, Kelly travels the globe as an industry speaker. Kelly is a Martha Stewart Top Wedding Planner & this podcast won Brides magazine and WeddingWire's best podcast.

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Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:10

Hello and welcome to this, versus that making wedding decisions with Kelly McWilliams. This podcast is for you if you're making a wedding decision and want to know what to consider before saying I do to all the things that will make your wedding experience a great one. I'm your host, kelly McWilliams, and I'm so glad to be a part of your wedding planning journey. In each episode, you can count on me and my expert wedding co-hosts to give you everything it takes to make the best decisions for the wedding that you're dreaming of. This is a hard episode, guys, and I toyed with I shouldn't even use the word toyed like it was something a topic that I hesitated on for a little bit, even procrastinated doing because it's heavy. But the truth of the matter is this podcast exists to help you make decisions and to help you plan your wedding.

Speaker 1: 1:09

So, unfortunately, tragedies do happen, and so, within this episode, leah and I try to help you navigate, and this is, I know we said it's moving forward versus canceling your wedding. But in this episode, that's not where we're going with this. We're trying to help you, like, if you come into a circumstance where this you have a tragedy what you can do. We're giving you the options and we're telling you what's going to be most helpful in those situations. I'm so glad that Leah came to me and she had the courage to say this needs to happen and I'll do this episode because I think we need to put the word out there.

Speaker 1: 1:56

And so, while everyone may avoid this episode, they see the title and they're like, yeah, I don't want to listen to that. I hope that there are a few. And if you're one of the people listening and you have friends or family members who are getting married and you listen to this and you're like, yeah, I'm glad I listened, let them know about it, and I hope that no one ever has to use anything you learn in this episode, except for the point of contact, and we'll tell you all about that right now. Leah, thank you for coming on again. This is your third or fourth time, third time.

Speaker 1: 2:42

Third time. I mean I think the only person who's been on more than you is Corinne, and that's because she's my bestie and was down the street and, like every time someone cancels, I'm like I need you to get on the podcast.

Speaker 2: 2:55

Well, I'm honored and I'm very excited to be back today.

Speaker 1: 2:58

Oh, good, good, good, good. So we're talking about something a little heavier today, and when we recorded last time, I was like, oh, I don't want to talk about this, but I realized we really should Like this, should live somewhere. So let's just rip the bandaid off and talk about what happens when there's a tragedy of some sort and you need to make a decision or you wonder. You know, I guess, guys, we're just trying to prepare you for if something comes up. You know what are the things? I hope you never. I hope this episode is never getting good to all of you, but I also hope that it gives you peace of mind and that you've discussed, like here's maybe things that we would think about or whatever. Okay, I think I feel. I feel like I need to let you start. I feel so awkward about this.

Speaker 2: 3:57

I do Don't feel awkward. I mean, it's, it is a heavy topic, but it it's, it's a heavy topic and I think we can bring a lot of compassion and, hopefully, some beautiful thoughts to what can be a heavy topic.

Speaker 1: 4:15

So I was trying to sit back and think like how do we even approach this? Should we talk about like three or four different things that could like different kinds of tragedies that could happen, and why we would postpone or cancel or I?

Speaker 2: 4:30

mean I think what I mean we can, I can speak from my.

Speaker 2: 4:34

I mean I can start and just sort of speak from my own experience as to what I encountered as a wedding planner. There were a lot of different things that happened, whether it was somebody's parent passing away during the wedding planning process, somebody's parent or somebody super close to them had passed away prior to the wedding, and so then it sort of became about how are we honoring that person? I've had parents get diagnosed with cancer, or even the person getting married. I had one bride who was diagnosed with breast cancer during the wedding planning process and so when all of this happened while you're planning a wedding number one, it's just going to feel like it throws a giant wrench and everything. There's no real way around that. It's going to feel just really heavy and it's just sort of impossible to navigate. And so we're here talking to kind of help people navigate what to do, because unfortunately the reality is you will have to make that choice of like is this something that's going to make us want to cancel the wedding, reschedule the wedding or move forward with the wedding?

Speaker 1: 5:45

Right, let's, can we do this, though? Let's leave it tragedies that affect us personally and not do weather related.

Speaker 2: 5:55

Oh, yes, agreed.

Speaker 1: 5:56

Yes, I don't want to talk about like what happens with the hurricane or tornado or fires or any of that. No, let's let this be about things that happen to us as people getting married, or within our families, our friendships, that you know it's going to affect the wedding in one way or another.

Speaker 2: 6:17

Yeah, that's helpful, that's a good good, a very helpful clarification.

Speaker 1: 6:21

And I will say, as you were saying, those things it was. I was recalling all of these situations that I forgot about already, like not forgot about, but it just brought to my mind how many times so many things have come up with. I had a bride who was diagnosed with breast cancer, a mom who was diagnosed with cancer. I've had parents pass away, I've unfortunately had brides I'm sorry, grooms who were injured two days before the wedding, and you know just a plethora of things. So let's, I think, let's talk about things that happened before a wedding that would enable you to cancel with time or postpone with time, and you know what we can do in those instances. That would be, you know, maybe helpful.

Speaker 1: 7:21

Yeah, I can say and I'm thinking back to my own experiences with this as a wedding planner, what I received, so in, and let's talk about like I think we both said the same thing where one of our clients one of you know, one of the people getting married was diagnosed with something. I've had at least one instance with this. It was in the midst of wedding planning and she came to me and she said okay, here's the deal. I've been diagnosed with cancer and I'm going to have to tackle this first, and my response is whatever we need to make happen, we'll make happen. Let's talk through what the options are, and I realize for everyone listening that not everyone has the luxury of a wedding plan, or so it might be something. A conversation that you're having with someone else, or just each vendor individually. Was yours kind of the same situations?

Speaker 2: 8:31

It's similar, but I think they kind of we handle it a little bit differently. And so one of my clients was diagnosed with breast cancer. What had happened was the bride and groom kind of went radio silent on me for a few weeks and I had kept trying to get in touch with them. I mean, we were far enough out that it wasn't really a period of wedding planning where anything was urgent. So I was just kind of like they're probably busy with work, like no big deal, but I did definitely notice that I wasn't getting a response for them. And then one day I was on a call and I saw the groom call in on the other line and I feel like anytime somebody's calling you and not emailing you or texting you, you kind of know that something's up. And so the second I hung up with the other call, I gave him a call back. He let me know that the bride had been diagnosed with breast cancer. It was really early and so they had sort of they had no idea about prognosis or treatment plan or anything like that. So basically we had decided like let's take a beat, give you guys as much time as you need, because we had the time and the wedding planning process, so gave them the time and space to kind of like understand more about where she was in the process and what needed to be done so that they could then make a decision. And in her case they caught it early enough. It was very treatable and the doctor actually thought that it would be good to have the wedding to look forward to. So she basically had the wedding in the middle of chemo treatments and then. So the big part with that was she was.

Speaker 2: 10:14

I was at their apartment a couple of weeks before the wedding doing like final meeting and stuff like that, and we were meeting with the DJ and after he left they said well, we have something we wanna talk to you about. We know it's a little bit out there. And they said the bride started explaining that she was at the point in the chemo process where she was starting to lose so much of her natural hair that it was about time to have to shave her head. And she explained that that was a very kind of scary and isolating time in the treatment process and that the only thing that sort of made her look forward to that moment was if she could do it at the wedding in front of all of her friends and family. And then the groom said, and I'm going to shave my head in solidarity with her at the wedding, so it was beautiful and it just I mean, like from a vendor perspective, like you know, I talk through them with what they wanted and when in the day they wanted it to happen and how they wanted it to look, and I got all the vendors on board and we made that happen for them.

Speaker 2: 11:18

But I think kind of the moral of that story was, just given where we were in the planning process, given where she was in the process with her diagnosis, like we just needed some. They needed some time to figure everything out and decide what the best thing was for them. And just given the very specific facts of her case, she decided that they wanted to have the wedding. And she's in remission, she's cancer-free, which is fantastic, and I say that knowing that not everybody's going to be in that same position. And so it's just about having just really open and honest communications with yourself, with your partner, with the people around you, with, if you have a wedding planner, with your wedding planner. In that situation it might feel weird, but a good wedding planner knows like we know how to navigate these things, and so we want to be part of that conversation with you when you're ready.

Speaker 1: 12:15

Yeah, in my case, what happened? They reached out pretty much like it was right from the get-go and said, okay, they knew a little bit more than I think your client did, but they reached out and they were like Kel, we want to keep the date the same, but I am not like I'm going to be in treatment this whole time. Can you take over from here? We have the trust in you and we'll check in six, eight weeks before the wedding and go from there. And I was like, absolutely so.

Speaker 1: 12:50

Then I took all the responsibility of getting everyone on the team up to date. I knew that I would be leading the team moving forward through all of it and I think you're right. It's just a matter of you deciding when the communication is best for you, at what stage. But I think we'll both agree that the sooner you just pass along where you're at right now and what your hope is, the better, so that the people that you have on your team can do what's best for you. And I can't think of a single vendor ever in the history of weddings that would not be fair about something like that.

Speaker 2: 13:31

I was just gonna say that. I was just gonna say that I know because I know that probably one of people's biggest concerns of something like that happens is, well, what happens with our contracts and our money and all of that stuff. And I always say, like the lawyer, as a lawyer, when I'm talking to my clients who are wedding professionals, I always say, like your contracts are ultimately discretionary. There are a lot of provisions in there that protect you. So if somebody does have to reschedule or cancel the wedding, it's going to protect the vendor more so than the client. But I always tell them it is completely within your discretion whether you want to enforce those specific provisions. And wedding vendors are humans and I would hope that everybody would have a lot of understanding in these situations in terms of, like, being flexible and all that stuff.

Speaker 1: 14:28

Yes, if you are fortunate enough to have a wedding planner on your side, then and you're okay in feeling comfortable when you do reach out, they may say to you okay, here's what I suggest that we do for now. Let's not cancel your wedding, let's keep based on what you've told me, let's keep it at the same date, and you just every now and again check in and say so far, so good, or nothing has changed from the wedding perspective. And then, if it's the opposite though, where they feel like they started with one thing and then maybe they're feeling like we do need to cancel because things aren't going well, that's it's obviously very much a personal decision, or maybe in it it may be like there's not a decision. That's an alternative. It just it is what it is Right. I think that you and I both know that one of the best things that you, that we, would say to our clients from the get go with their weddings, is to get wedding insurance. Yes, they weren't writing it for a couple of years. They are now. During COVID they got rid of that, but it is back. So, for everyone listening and I know this is not an exciting episode to listen to, but I will say, and we will make sure to put this in the show notes Getting wedding insurance is just such peace of mind for something like this.

Speaker 1: 16:02

It's not just for protecting against weather related events, but it's things like this where someone gets sick. So I think what we kind of want to drive home is lean into your vendors to help you with this, but you have to communicate. There just has to be some level of communication so that they can and that you know you can lean into your vendors. You can lean into your vendors to ask them, you know what with their thoughts on? Do you think we could do this? Do you think we can not talk to you for the next five months and still everything would be OK, right? Or do you think we need to cancel and restart things later? Or is it possible? You can ask is it possible we move our wedding up so that we can do this before treatment start, or something like that?

Speaker 2: 16:54

Yeah, communication is always key and there's a lot. Wedding vendors are very resourceful people. We can do a lot of stuff with very little, on short notice and with like yeah, and so I think, like Kelly said, leaning into your vendors, they're going to know, they're going to have suggestions for you, they will be able probably to think of things, be more creative than you would, just because they know what's possible and exactly. Yeah, so leaning into your vendors, we can do a lot.

Speaker 1: 17:27

Yes, yeah, I think it's probably like the most important thing is like let us be the experts for you. Unfortunately, just like Leah and I said, we've had it happen in multiple times. Let's talk about when something happens to someone other than the bride and groom. I think one of the hardest things that we've dealt with is a parent passing, and there's times where I know I've had this happen more times than I care, more times I can count one hand, let's put it that way. So there's, you know you can move forward with everything and change how you're doing things. You know, maybe at your wedding. I don't know that I've ever had anyone cancel their wedding when there was. I will be on. I haven't had anyone cancel, have you? I have no parent died.

Speaker 2: 18:32

They've moved. Yeah, they've all moved forward in some way.

Speaker 1: 18:35

Yeah, I can see, if it was close to the wedding, where you might need to see if we're scheduling is possible, like if it was something that really was a tragedy. You know within it, like, let's say, a week or something that you know you didn't see coming or you know something like that. That might be like a reschedule situation. I think a lot of that. When it comes to something like that, it's beyond the scope of just you deciding, unfortunately, don't you. Or tell me if you disagree with this, leah, but maybe that needs to be more of a family conversation, because there are other people involved. If you've got siblings or you know your parents and uncles and things like that, you know it affects more than just the two of you.

Speaker 2: 19:25

Yeah.

Speaker 1: 19:26

So where, as with the, if it's just you, the couple, that's dealing with the situation, it really is your decision. Yeah, but this affects. Well, even if if you're doing something, obviously, if you're suffering with something, yes, it affects your whole family, but ultimately decisions on you. But then when it's a family member who passes or is injured or, you know, is diagnosed with something, I think that it needs to be more of a family, at least talk For sure.

Speaker 2: 20:02

Yeah, absolutely yeah, you have to get the, you have to bring more people into the decision making process. Then, just because if you do move forward, they're expected to potentially attend and then they may not attend, and then it's just, and then they also feel you know, everybody's got opinions and feelings on things and then that is a really. I feel like that's a really hard decision to have to make. Probably I don't want to say it's hard it's a different decision than if it was one of the people getting married who were sick, but when somebody passed, but when it's not you and it's somebody that's sick or passes away, I feel like, yes, it's just a very different decision with a lot of different considerations and just a trickier to navigate.

Speaker 1: 20:45

Yeah, and again, I think the and I think I feel like we're going to keep going back to this Lean into your vendors so they can like be, just because we have the experiences with this, that at least we can tell you what your options are or give you ideas and thoughts that maybe you aren't thinking of, and you know, who knows what your state of mind is at that point. So you already trust us to be taking care of the most important day of your life. These are people that you can lean on to. For more than that, yeah, so, and it's not like you've played your wedding before Never, you or you know in this situation. So turn to the people that know. You know, and I mean also you know. Clearly you're going to turn to your family, to you know, discuss things, but we can at least help you from the wedding perspective to know what your options are or things that you should consider to make the decision on.

Speaker 2: 21:48

You know, rescheduling, postponing, moving the date up or canceling yeah, yeah, I mean, we're going to be a good, a good vendor, whoever is sort of. If you don't have, if you have a wedding planner, that's probably the main person you're going to turn to. If you don't, then it's potentially the person at the venue, your caterer, somebody who's sort of more in charge of the day itself, and they're going to be able to outline basically exactly what your options are. You know, or give you ideas. They're going to say, okay, we can just cancel the whole thing. See what money you could get back. We could make it smaller and intimate. You could let people know and essentially kind of like this invite people from the day and just make it a much smaller day.

Speaker 2: 22:31

If you still want to have some kind of celebration and still want to legally get married on that day, we could talk. We would say, or your option is to postpone, and I'll get on the phone with all of your vendors and let them know and we'll figure out. We'll figure something out. But they will hope a good vendor will be able to make it easier for you in that moment because they will just be able just to tell you. They'll tell you the facts, they'll tell you what your options are, and then that way you don't have to worry about it, you don't have to figure out just one more thing during that period of time.

Speaker 1: 23:05

I think one of the things that I think that is important to communicate and I don't know if you did this when you were planning, leah but we ask for emergency contacts in the beginning of the wedding planning for both parties, both couples.

Speaker 1: 23:23

You know what I mean the fiance's so that we know, you know, should something happen or come up, we know who that other person is that they would trust to, because maybe you aren't a perfect situation. Last year I had a groom that was severely injured when they were here for the wedding a few days beforehand and the bride was at his side in the emergency room, which then turned into ICU, and I had no contact with them. Now, this is two. I think it was two days before the wedding, maybe three, and I got a call from the emergency contact and that was the only person that I could talk to. So I had to know and trust that they gave me her name and she was the person that the bride at that time said please call Kelly. There's no way that person had my phone number unless someone gave it to her, so I knew.

Speaker 1: 24:33

Moving forward, so that's something to consider in the beginning stages of planning. Totally, if something were to happen, who should our point of contact be for both of us, or the bride or the groom, or whoever? It is for both people getting married, but you wanna have two different individuals for that right? Yep, that's a very good rule to follow. Yeah, absolutely. I've unfortunately also had parents that passed away well on the day of the wedding.

Speaker 2: 25:07

I have a friend who had that happen. I did have a week of the wedding situation.

Speaker 1: 25:12

Yeah, and the day of the wedding everything was already in play.

Speaker 1: 25:20

They didn't pass away at the wedding, they weren't there In that situation.

Speaker 1: 25:25

They decided to move forward because in that, in that incident, there was nothing that could be done and we changed a few things throughout the day to be cognizant of it.

Speaker 1: 25:42

And again, I think it's more of a communication and it might be that if you, as the person getting married, don't wanna talk about it, just let someone like, let you need to have that person, that same emergency contact person that's gonna relay okay, these are things that we don't want to have happen.

Speaker 1: 26:07

Or let's say you're a bride and your dad is supposed to walk you down the aisle and unfortunately he's the one that has passed away. So the person that is the emergency point of contact or the groom in that situation is gonna have to step up and say here's how we'd like for this to happen. Hopefully you've got a planner or coordinator, or at least the DJ who's pushing, making things happen, moving things forward, that they have that information so they can make the changes, so that everything is done as most appropriately as possible. And I just wanna say because this just is so heavy, but I want everyone listening to realize that, when it comes to weddings, yes, they're vendors and they're running businesses, but we are such humans and let me tell you that you're not gonna find more empathetic people than people in the wedding industry. We'll cry with the best of them.

Speaker 2: 27:14

I mean I was so the wedding that I had with the bride and groom who decided to shave their heads. During the wedding I was so impressed by the vendors, and not that I necessarily expected less of them, but I mean, in that situation, people as vendors have the right to just be like, whoa, this is way beyond my like, this is beyond my pay grade. I, you know, like I'm not, I just can't be part of this. And every all the vendors just leaned into it and took such good care of them and helped make the day incredible. Like the caterer worked with the bride to find out, like, what would be helpful, like to have around for her to eat, because most likely she's gonna be nauseous because she's in the middle of chemo treatments, and so they were thoughtful about, like having food and drinks around more so for her, like, especially pre-wedding that would help her feel better.

Speaker 2: 28:09

The DJ helped them pick out fun songs to do the head shaving to. Like the photographers knew what was going on and we're at like everybody just really leaned in and embraced that moment and it was so beautiful and it was like just struck me, like so many people could have just said you know, no, this is I'm not. I'm not gonna do this. This is just too much Like. This is not what I get paid for, this is not my job, and everybody just leaned in to make it a really beautiful day.

Speaker 1: 28:39

Let's talk about a few things that some of these vendors can do, just because we know how, what our vendors are capable of. So, if you know, a bride group couple reaches out and says you know, here's where we're at with this. My dad is not able to come to my wedding because he's sick and there's. He's just not gonna be able to make it. You, for instance, you could go to your DJ and say here's where we're at with this. Is there anything that you can do or tell us that's gonna help the situation for us, because he's not gonna be there? There, that DJ is gonna be like oh yeah, I understand, you're not gonna be able to have your father daughter dance. Here's some other options that are gonna be good for you. Your wedding planner is gonna give you a slew of them. That's easy. You know things like your florist, you know, might say hey, you know what we can do. We can, like, have some extra, you know, have flowers on the seat where your mom was gonna be sitting. You know, so it's.

Speaker 1: 29:48

I know we keep saying lean on your vendors, but they, we want you to know that you can come to us with those questions and that they can give you some things that are going to be helpful. I don't want you to say, sit there right now listening to this and like write down things that you need to ask these vendors now in case these things happen. No, no, no, no, no, no. We just want you to feel good and know that we'll help you through all of these decisions that you need to make. If you would like us to, but also if you just need us to be quiet for a while, we can do that, but you'll want to do, I think. I mean, really, is there anything that you think anyone could do, other than buy insurance and giving us point of contact in case of emergency, that anyone could do in advance?

Speaker 2: 30:42

I think those are really the only two things, yeah yeah, it's like and in the moment, right, that's what to do in advance, and then, just like in the moment, it's just about whatever communication can be can be. Yeah.

Speaker 1: 30:54

Yeah, when it comes to canceling your wedding because of a tragedy, how do you find it's best for the couple to let people know in that situation, in terms of vendors or guests?

Speaker 2: 31:10

Well, they're guests. Well, both, let's talk about both. Yeah, I mean, the vendors are the first I would say you know they. Just they're probably going to be the first people you let know. But I think it's a reasonable request in that situation to find whichever vendor you've been in touch with the most, or whoever you have the best relationship with, and just say, hey, do you think you could let the other vendors know for us and let them know that we'll get back in touch with any kind of more detail or to settle up any contract, things like in a few weeks or something like that. But I think, again, the vendors would step up for you and help you out with that, so that you're not having to do that. And then, with the guests either, it depends on how you've been communicating with them, but if you've been sending mass emails, that might be one way to take care of it.

Speaker 2: 32:01

If that's not how you've been communicating, then appointing like one or two friends to be the people that handle, to handle it For you you shouldn't be like you, as the people getting married in your immediate family shouldn't be the ones telling everybody, and so finding somebody that can help you take that on would be good.

Speaker 1: 32:19

And I think that's actually a really good thought is to think the same person that you picked as your emergency contact. So maybe put that person in charge and say here's my email or here's the timeline that has all the vendors on it. Can you send in a mass email? Tell them what's going on, tell them who you are and that, as of right now, it looks like you're going to have to cancel the wedding.

Speaker 1: 32:47

And that person the emergency contact, obviously doesn't know everything about your wedding. But at least give them the authority to say we know the wedding isn't going to happen. They are going to be in touch with you at some point, but as of right now, I'm just letting you know it is absolutely not happening. We have to cancel at this point. So at least the vendors are up to date at that point and, if they can prepare them with, we will reach out to you by this date, or this family attorney or something will contact you moving forward about the cancellation process. That's going to go over a lot better than yes, ghosting I hate to ghosting, but you know, like just not saying anything to anybody yeah, just simply. I think having a point of contact, yeah for sure, yeah.

Speaker 2: 33:46

And having that yeah Go, acknowledging in that email that there that there is follow up communication that will need to happen after a cancellation, is very incredibly important.

Speaker 1: 33:58

And if you, when you tell your point of contact to make this contact out to them and I do suggest that you do this in an email phone calls are great too, but that way you have written communication that at least that went out. And maybe, like that, maybe your point of contact send the email, sends even a mass email to all the vendors, copies you like in your spot You're soon to be spouse on it. So everyone saw everything that went out. Yeah, that's a great thing. Yeah, and I think in the same instance, the two like having two or three people who are responsible for letting all of the guests know, like, clearly, you're dealing with something.

Speaker 1: 34:42

Yeah, you should not be responsible for everything else that you're trying to deal with along with letting 150 people know, yes, that you are rescheduling or canceling or whatever. It is enough is going on. Yeah, plus, so that that person can field anything that is coming in. If you're having a destination wedding, it's, unfortunately, there's just twice as much work because all of your guests are all traveling, so they have travel plans. So I will also say this Don't hesitate in wait, thinking, let's just take a beat for six weeks to figure this out. If you're doing a destination wedding, I think the sooner you're comfortable letting your guests know that there could be a change coming down the pipeline even if it could be so that they can prepare for maybe we don't buy our airline tickets now, maybe we wait to make things easier on everyone across the country?

Speaker 1: 35:48

Yeah, absolutely. Anything else that you can think of? That we should probably say, I think and I know you've said this in the last two times you're on, but I think your book would be really helpful in this point as well. I'm so glad you wrote that book, leah. It's a silver lining from COVID, but I think that's again. We're not trying to make this like a boohoo episode and I know it sounds like it is, but hopefully it brings you a sense of peace and knowing. Okay, I know what I'm going to do. I am going to communicate, or I'm going to have not, or you are going to have a point of contact. Yes, prepared, and now you know why you should, other than just the groom disappeared and we don't want you to know. We don't want you to know and we need someone to find out where he's at.

Speaker 1: 36:45

We need these people for that too. Anything else you can think of Leah that we need to. I think we've covered it. Yes, we just want you to feel these, and we hope that none of this ever has to happen. I feel like now I'm going to have to do another episode on weather related changes?

Speaker 2: 37:10

How have you not I feel like that? Have you not already talked about weather related changes? No, they're like that's everybody's, especially in Florida.

Speaker 1: 37:19

Yes, I think it's why I don't want to, because I know too much. Yes, it's a scary thing, but I guess, yes, there's okay, different episode.

Speaker 2: 37:34

Different episode I'm going to schedule it, I will.

Speaker 1: 37:36

I'll have to bring maybe Andrew on, yes.

Speaker 2: 37:39

I do want to add, because I would imagine some people who find this episode are some of the people that are maybe going through some of this right now. We just want to let you know that we're sorry this is happening and that you're having to navigate this, and just hope that you can do the best with what you have. As we've said multiple times, if you haven't already, lean in to your vendors and use them as a resource during this time, because they'll be able to help.

Speaker 1: 38:06

I think you're going to find it. I think you'll have such a sense of relief Not that you're procrastinating about anything, but you know how when you check something up the list that you've just kept pushing to the side, and you're like it's so much easier now it's off my shoulders. That's how that phone call or email should feel. That, okay, it's okay for me to step away from this. Or but unfortunately for anyone who's a seasoned professional in this industry, we're only two people. And how many times did you think you've dealt with tragedies?

Speaker 2: 38:47

during the wedding planning.

Speaker 1: 38:51

I can tell you I've got at least 15, at least 15. The more we're sitting here talking about them, the more I'm recalling. It's not that they happen to every wedding. I don't want you to feel that I've had hundreds and hundreds of weddings but for there to be that many, and every wedding has 15 to 40 different vendors, we have some experience with it, so we can lean on us, lean on me. I'm not going to sing anymore. Leah, thank you so much. Thank you for doing the hard episode with me. Yeah, thank you for having me. Yeah, I'm so glad that you brought this topic up. You were right. I know that I made it the last of our topics, of all the ones that you've ever talked about.

Speaker 1: 39:41

It took courage, but I appreciate it and thank you. If you need to reach out to Leah for anything, you can go to the show notes. There's links to her there. We'll put a link to her book again, which I think is and did I ask you about this last time, if it's audible.

Speaker 2: 40:01

Amazon is not audible yet. We do not have yet it's on Amazon. It's called the Wedding Roller Coaster and I do specifically have a section where I talk about tragic life events and how to navigate that so you can get some more info there.

Speaker 1: 40:14

Perfect. I hope again. We both hope that you never have to deal with this, but if you are dealing with it right now, we're so sorry that you are and hope that we can be of help to you. Alrighty Leah, until next time. Until next time.

Speaker 2: 40:28

When we talk about something else legal or we should do a legal one.

Speaker 1: 40:36

Have we done a legal one? I mean the pre-nup one, that's right. I feel like we should talk and do a legal one when it comes to like working with vendors, to legal situations. I feel like that could be helpful. Alrighty, okay, signing off. Thanks, leah. Thank you, I'm so glad to be able to share my wedding experiences and expertise with you, and that my co-hosts are so giving it theirs. We truly do want you to have the best time at your wedding, and our hope is that this podcast is helping you to make your engagement time while planning your wedding that much easier.

Speaker 1: 41:16

May I ask a favor of you? If this is the case, would you just take a moment to leave a review of this podcast on your listening platform? It helps people just like you to find the podcast and to also find out their answer so they can make decisions. I would also absolutely love for you to give this versus that podcast a shout out on your social media. You can find us at this versus that wedding podcast on Instagram and if you would like me to help you with a specific question, a wedding decision, please by all means ask. Send me a DM. I would love to hear from you and maybe, just maybe, even have you as a wedding cast on a future episode. How fun. Here's to another great wedding.