To Prenup or not to Prenup: A Candid Discussion with Attorney Leah Weinberg

Unpopular opinion alert! We need to talk about pre-nups! So, this week we're shifting gears this week from flowers and wedding cakes to the more contentious topic of prenuptial agreements. Our guest, Leah Weinberg, is a seasoned wedding planner turned attorney who has learned one thing or two about the controversy surrounding prenups. Leah's unique journey from creating fairy-tale nuptials to drafting legally binding contracts offers a fresh perspective on the importance of discussing financial matters before tying the knot.

We're dissecting the intricacies of prenuptial agreements and debunking a few myths along the way. From assets allocation to infidelity clauses, nothing is off the table in our candid conversation. We'll also discuss why both parties should have separate attorneys when drafting a prenup and the potential implications if they don't.

Leah will guide us through the emotional side of getting a prenuptial agreement and how to start open and honest talks about money, religion, and future children. Planner's tip: listen to this episode with your partner if you can! It will help make the subject feel a bit less taboo & touchy). 

Lastly, Leah brings in her decade-long experience in the wedding industry to discuss the potential roadblocks couples may face when deciding on a prenuptial agreement. Drawing from her vast experience, Leah offers practical advice on how to navigate these sensitive topics with grace and understanding. It's a must-listen episode packed with valuable insights that will undoubtedly be beneficial for couples planning not just their big day, but their future together.

Find Leah on Instagram at:
https://www.instagram.com/theleahweinberg/
https://www.instagram.com/oduberglaw/
https://www.instagram.com/legallyset/

Online at:
https://legallyset.com/
https://www.oduberg.com/

Places to go - People to see:

Kelly's Site: http://www.kellymcwilliams.com
Kelly's Blog: https://www.kellymcwilliams.com/blog
Instagram: @kellyamcwilliams

About Kelly:
Kelly knows how incredible a well planned wedding can be. Every moment counts and every decision plays a part. Wedding planning should be fun and as easy to do as possible. Besides planning weddings, Kelly travels the globe as an industry speaker. Kelly is a Martha Stewart Top Wedding Planner & this podcast won Brides magazine and WeddingWire's best podcast.

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Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:10

Hello and welcome to this Versus that making wedding decisions with Kelly McWilliams. This podcast is for you if you're making a wedding decision and want to know what to consider before saying I do to all the things that will make your wedding experience a great one. I'm your host, kelly McWilliams, and I'm so glad to be a part of your wedding planning journey. In each episode, you can count on me and my expert wedding co-hosts to give you everything it takes to make the best decisions for the wedding that you're dreaming of. My guess is half the people will listen to this episode. Half the people that came on to listen to whatever episode we were putting out today were like, ooh, prenuptes. I don't want to listen to that. But if you are listening clearly you are. If you're hearing my voice right now, you're going to feel even better, because I did After talking to Leah about all of this. I feel so much better about prenuptes and I really I think it was like the whole mindset like, oh really, when you look at it this way. So Leah is Weinberg is who we have on this episode talking us through why you should or should not have her prenup for today's and all of those things. To be honest with you, I knew nothing about prenuptes before this, so in this episode you're just going to hear me asking a lot of questions, likely the same ones that you would be asking.

Speaker 1: 1:46

Let me go ahead and tell you a little bit about Leah. Like I said, she's already been on the show before and she's got a great book that we talked about on the show, but she's the co-founder of Odeberg Law and co-owner of the contract template shop called Legally Said. She's an attorney, a recovering wedding planner and the author of the wedding roller coaster. After nearly a decade in the wedding industry as the owner of ColourPop events, a New York City-based wedding planning company, leah is returning to her roots as an attorney to assist her former colleagues in the event industry, along with other entrepreneurs and business owners. Her work and insights have been published online and in print with Vogue, the New York Times, people, cnn, cnbc, bravo, martha Stewart, the Knot and many others. She's a wedding pro educator with the Knot and WeddingWire since 2020 and travels throughout the country sharing her insights with her peers regionally as well as at national conferences such as Alt Summit, nace and the special event. I've known Leah for years. She's someone that I would 100% turn to for any kind of wedding business legal advice and because she is an actual attorney, I feel really good that we have her on this episode to talk to us all about pre-nups.

Speaker 1: 3:16

It's a really good episode, guys. You're going to feel better about it and then maybe have to talk to your partner about it and be like you know what. I think you should listen to this. Maybe this is something that we should consider. Okay, let's get Leah, my friend Leah on the line. Okay, so we're going to talk about pre-nups. Do you get to do this often? Do you talk about?

Speaker 2: 3:38

pre-nups a lot. I don't. I think it's. Actually it comes up a good amount of times in terms of my friends in the wedding industry needing somebody to refer their clients to. So it comes up in that context.

Speaker 1: 3:51

But yeah, I feel like I or that's what they say.

Speaker 2: 3:53

That's what they say I feel like I don't get enough chances to talk about it and I have maybe some controversial opinions on the subject.

Speaker 1: 4:01

I have to tell you, when you said, hey, kyle, let's do an episode on this, I was like, oh my gosh, I mean, girl, I never would have thought of it, like it never would have even popped in my mind, because we're always thinking like, oh, the happy things. And maybe you're going to tell me this is a happy thing, so I'm going to lean on you as an expert. Oh, so, let me do this. So you've been on the show before, so everyone knows you, but still, maybe just give a little inkling into why we're talking to a wedding expert who absolutely does know about legal. Just, we'll do that first and then we'll talk about pre-nups and all that.

Speaker 2: 4:37

Yes, so since people last saw me or heard me on the show, I have shut down my wedding planning company as of the end of 2022 and started a law firm with a friend of mine at the beginning of 2023. And so I was an attorney before being a wedding planner. I was a wedding planner for a bit and now I have gone back to being an attorney full time. So I have the legal background, but I also have, like, actual experience as a wedding planner working with clients for 10 years.

Speaker 1: 5:04

Yes, and guys, so you know, like Leah's, who I would turn to, like she's my and her wedding, her legal, what are you? A firm? Yeah, a law firm, okay, her firm. Really, their core is wedding people. So when I and it's great, because she was in the business, like she was a wedding planner and she knows all things, so this is great, great, great content for you to like, know and absorb and be like okay, she's legit. She's just not just some wedding planner who had a bunch of people who wanted to know about prenuptes.

Speaker 1: 5:43

Okay, so to make sure everyone's on the same page, can you explain exactly what a prenupt is and what it's meant for?

Speaker 2: 5:54

Yes, so a prenupt is short for a prenuptial agreement. It is a contract that has entered into between the people who are getting married, and what it does is. It essentially sets forth the plan for what happens when the marriage ends and how assets will be divided and who has access to what and how things are going to be split up, in order to essentially save yourself from a lot of back and forth and potential fighting when things, if things, don't work out.

Speaker 1: 6:32

Okay, how many people would you say, best guess, actually get pre-nups?

Speaker 2: 6:41

Probably not many. I think there is this idea that pre-nups are reserved for high net worth individuals, so people that are coming into the marriage with a lot of assets or maybe they are set to inherit a lot of money or assets at a certain period of time. So people think, oh, only if I have a significant amount of money do I really need to worry about it. I don't think that is the case. So I'm happy to be here today so we can kind of talk through why any most people should be doing entering into pre-nups?

Speaker 1: 7:16

Yeah, because I'll tell you, I thought exactly the same thing, but maybe it's easier and better. Even if you're both starting out, we're not those people that we thought needed them. This is for everyone, across the board, it is not just for people who have huge assets and things like that high wealth and across the board, it could be a good thing for everyone.

Speaker 2: 7:42

Yeah, and I think people should look at it. I hate to make it sound like a business transaction, but it is kind of, when I talk to our clients about when they go into business with people, they need to have a contract that outlines that relationship. I often say think of it kind of as a pre-nup for your business and so, on the flip side of that, think of this as like a partnership agreement for your marriage almost. I mean, divorce rates are very high. People don't go into a marriage hoping that it's going to end or really anticipating that it's going to end, but there's no harm in sort of planning for what that end might look like.

Speaker 2: 8:25

I always say that the two people that are getting married are not the same two people who are going to ultimately decide to end that marriage. You are going to be different people and so a lot of people will say, well, I'm getting married, I would never try to take my spouse's assets or I would never want to request alimony or spousal support or something like that. And that is what you say when the two of you are happy and you're getting married and you're making this decision together. But you're not those people if things don't work out and things are coming to an end. So I always say it's helpful to plan for something like that at the beginning, when everybody is more level headed, a little bit less emotional, on sort of the same page, as opposed to waiting until things have gone wrong, because then you're definitely not going to be on the same page.

Speaker 1: 9:19

Yeah, and I have to wonder if sometimes, when people put this into place, if they have some kind of relief in knowing, hey, that's one, you know, like we did this together, we made these decisions together and we can feel good about it. And you know, I have to wonder, is that sometimes a case where people come in together going, hey, we just want to put this, these precautionary acts or agreements in place?

Speaker 2: 9:44

Yeah, it doesn't have to be emotional, it can just be very practical. And so if you think about it that way and don't think about it, it's not accusatory. Like saying to your partner I would like to enter into a prenup. It's not accusatory saying, oh, you're going to come, try to steal my money or something like that. Or, like you know, marry me and get divorced and then come after my money. It's not accusatory. We need to sort of take the emotion out of it and just understand that it's actually a very sort of healthy and thoughtful and mature decision to make as people getting married.

Speaker 1: 10:18

Yeah, I mean, if you look at it really, if you think about it, it could be something as simple as, like you know, you think about what? Like healthcare. You're getting married, are you going to do a family plan, or are you keeping your health insurance separate with your employer? And I'm going to do mine? You have to make that decision Exactly, so why would that be any different?

Speaker 2: 10:39

Yeah, there's so many decisions Like again, like even just how are we handling the bank account, kind of thing? Are we commingling money? Are we keeping things separate? Like all of this is just, it's just about good planning and just taking away. Like by doing this advanced planning, you're removing the potential for these obstacles and issues to arise in the future.

Speaker 1: 11:00

You know what that makes me think of? Like I don't know that I've ever seen a list of things that you should do like that. I mean just like, not, just no, I'm going off and I change it in here.

Speaker 1: 11:15

But you know, like here are the not fun parts of wedding planning that really need to get done. You know, because I mean you go to like I'm gonna say for Catholic, you go through the whole thing with the what are the? Why am I losing my words? What's that called when you pre-canna? Yes, you know, and they set you up to make sure you're actually good to like get married and all that stuff.

Speaker 1: 11:36

But also, like I feel like there should be and there probably is one somewhere but something that says here are the not wedding related decisions that you need to put in place, or you should consider and have conversations on outside of the wedding, wedding like health insurance and banking and pre-nups and things like that Yep, right, yes, exactly, okay, so could you get on that? Yeah, yeah, yeah, anyway, we'll find someone to do it, okay. So, other than pre-nups and I'm gonna, we're gonna go back to pre-nups Are there any other legal documents that you know of that people should be considering for before we get married, or anything like that?

Speaker 2: 12:30

Pre-wedding. I think this tends to cover it. I will say the disclaimer here is that state laws are very different in terms of how they treat like community property and stuff like that. I'm sure people who live in California know a lot about the community, how community property works there. So I'm always advising people like make sure you're talking to an attorney to understand, like, if your pre-nup can override certain state laws or how it can be drafted to interact with state laws. I just wanna throw that out there that that's definitely something that people need to look into.

Speaker 1: 13:05

Okay, great. Okay, now that we've gotten the baseline done, I think everyone understands what a pre-nup is. Actually, I feel like we wanna go a little bit further on it. Sorry, now I'm thinking what is actually in a pre-nup Like? What are the different? Like? I imagine it's several pages long. What are some of the things that it details out?

Speaker 2: 13:29

Yeah, the main thing that it's going to deal with is assets. So whatever like your existing assets are, it's going to say what the plan is for those assets upon divorce.

Speaker 2: 13:45

It's going to talk about what happens to assets that are accrued and obtained during the marriage. What happens to those things. It could talk about things like it might distinguish between money earned from a job versus inheritance that comes in and how that is handled. If somebody is a business owner or intends to be a business owner, that's actually a really big thing. To just make sure is clear that, like if the business just belongs to one of the partners and if they get divorced, the other person does or does not have any ongoing interest in the business. So it's talking about that. And then in some cases and these are the things you hear about in some of the high profile like celebrity cases are these closet basically infidelity clauses and so almost adding some kind of penalty if the marriage dissolves because of some kind of infidelity and like things. Like the way that things get resolved is different if you decide to get divorced because one of the partners was unfaithful. So I think.

Speaker 2: 14:51

I want to say, and I don't remember we might have to fact check this but I think I remember the first time JLo and Ben Affleck were married. I think I remember hearing that they had like an infidelity clause in there, prenup.

Speaker 1: 15:05

Wait, they got married, weren't they married? I don't think they got married. I think wasn't that the one with the pink diamond, and then they were gonna get married, and then they did it, I thought they did.

Speaker 2: 15:19

I don't know. We can scrap the whole, we can scrap the example, but we can keep it. Lance will keep in the part about there, sometimes our infidelity.

Speaker 1: 15:30

I know what's gonna happen. Everyone's gonna go Google it real quick, but I I don't know. That's a good trivia question. I might post that on the Instagram later.

Speaker 2: 15:41

Yes, but at some point in the past there was some high-profile celebrity couple that had an infidelity clause in their premium.

Speaker 1: 15:49

Okay, okay, so that is something. Is that something that is always in there, or no?

Speaker 2: 15:53

No, no, no, okay, no and one other kind of basic piece of information that I think just helps from a practical Understanding is that when entering into a prenup, each person needs to have their own attorney.

Speaker 2: 16:06

So one attorney, because technically you have technically you do have conflicting interests, and so each person should be represented by their own counsel. Now, depending on, maybe, how contentious the the prenup is to begin with, if both parties are like in total agreement and fine, like I'll admit, my husband and I signed a prenup when we got married. I at the time was working in a firm and a divorce attorney had office space in our firm and I had a relationship with him. So it was like, hey, my husband and I want to do a prenup. He's like great, I can represent you. Here's who I recommend for your husband. So in a lot of cases, divorce attorneys sort of have their kind of go-to person for these more amicable Preenups, because it was just like but technically you do need to be represented by two separate attorneys at different firms because you have Just by nature, conflicting interests.

Speaker 1: 17:03

I feel like you've educated me so much so far and it's been like 10 minutes. I appreciate I I don't obviously don't have a prenup, but I didn't. I didn't know all of this either. And you know, just as an example, kelly and I my husband's name is Kelly Did I tell you that that's so confusing? Yeah, it was confused. Well, it's still some time. Okay, no, whole, nother podcast episode, but anyway.

Speaker 1: 17:31

So we've been married for 25 years and the difference between where we are now from where we started is Strikingly different. Like could not be any more opposite. So not there were anywhere near getting divorced. We're very happily married after 25 years. But if that was the case, if something did happen and there was we would not be in the same like it would be so different, you know, because we had nothing then. Yeah, no, but we didn't have kids, we didn't have a business. But things did change and I would, I would think that we would, you know it, would admit it. Like I said, under no circumstance are we anywhere near getting a divorce. We're very happily married, but I can see how something like that would be good to have done in the beginning and not have to be like something that was weighing on anyone's shoulders, should you know.

Speaker 2: 18:29

And for the record you can do them. You can enter into basically the same type of agreement once you're married to. Yeah, you can always Pre-nuptial I think it's called a post-nup, it's like I think it's called a post-nuptial. Oh yeah, but you can still set out the same Terms and stuff.

Speaker 1: 18:49

Yes, so like, maybe, like, if something does change and you both are like, okay, I'm opening a business now and I think we need to like separate things and put things in place, yeah, or maybe it could be that you're opening up a business and now you have partners and they own some of the business, so that there could be lots of different things that come to play, that, yeah, absolutely you need to consider that yeah, and it could be something.

Speaker 2: 19:12

I mean it would be great like if society to sort of work this into the natural discussion, like when you go to do like your Wills and stuff. I know a lot of people kind of put that off. But like, this is something honestly that, like when you go and take care of all that stuff, this could be something just documentation that you do at that point too. Sure, sure, it doesn't have to be a big deal.

Speaker 1: 19:31

It feels so much easier.

Speaker 2: 19:32

Yeah, it doesn't have to be a big deal.

Speaker 1: 19:34

It's okay to talk about guys.

Speaker 2: 19:35

Yeah, it's okay.

Speaker 1: 19:36

Yeah, okay, so let's talk about pre-nup versus no pre-nup. So I think, probably. Again, I don't have a lot of information to give on this, so I'm leaning on you. Sorry, you're doing all the talking, but I'm happy to ask all the questions, okay, so let's talk first about the pros to a prenuptial or post. Yeah, post nuptials that what we decided to call it. Yeah, okay, so what do you got for us?

Speaker 2: 20:05

Yeah, and the pros are I mean, the pros are number one just a little bit of peace of mind. Like you said, it just gives you peace of mind that it's not gonna be weighing on you, you don't have to worry about it. You've already sort of pre-agreed as to what's gonna happen and then just thinking about what it, if you do end up getting Divorce, it's just gonna save you so much time and energy and probably playing frankly, money in legal fees, not having like a ridiculously Long, drawn-out divorce process. So it's gonna make things. It's gonna feel like it's gonna lighten your load a little bit during the marriage and then, okay, if the marriage comes to an end, it's just gonna help make that a lot more Seamless. Like it's gonna already be emotional and messy and hard and just taking this off the table and not having to worry about you know how we're gonna divide things up. You know it's it's gonna be make that part smoother.

Speaker 1: 21:03

Can I ask you questions? Can they one? Can they get changed after they're?

Speaker 2: 21:08

done. Yeah, absolutely, as long as both parties agree.

Speaker 1: 21:11

Yes, absolutely Okay okay, I Guess I kind of answers the second part too. Yeah, okay, so they can be changed after.

Speaker 2: 21:21

Yeah, afterwards, as long as everyone comes to the table, like when your life is changed completely and it no longer makes sense to do, yeah, something one way, yeah and what you mentioned to you, like we kind of said, goes into this thinking of like oh, I don't need a prenup because I don't have a lot of assets or money kind of coming into this. But you're sort of the perfect example of how like things change over the course of a marriage. And first of all, congratulations on 25 years. That's absolutely amazing. But yeah, you said it yourself like so much has changed your Careers, your income level, like you've got kids, everything has changed, and so there's ways to you know you think you don't need it at the time, but it would be. It's gonna be very helpful down the road.

Speaker 1: 22:05

Yeah, yeah, absolutely would do. Prenuptials could they have any effect on? On like Kids, like, even if like kids aren't part of our kids, part of prenuptials?

Speaker 2: 22:22

No. Okay so that's a whole different Custody and everything is going to yes, Custody is going to be something completely separate from the prenuptial agreement. That's just going to deal with like ask, like money, personal property, tangible property, businesses, that kind of thing.

Speaker 1: 22:43

Okay. So you can tell me this has nothing to do with one with the other, but it's making me think. So let's say you have a prenuptial and you start at the beginning like we're getting married, let's go, we're going to figure out health insurance, we're going to figure out banking, we're going to put our prenuptial, we're going to get all that done. And then it's five years later and now you've got kids and you realize that Everything would be different because you have kids. So then in that case you just change the prenuptial or you don't do any kind of change the prenuptial because you have kids. Like your assets should be split differently because you know that one of you is going to take custody, or something like that.

Speaker 2: 23:31

Yeah, so the court? So that's what. You don't really know who's going to end up with custody in that case, and that's sort of why you can't prepare for that and like share that and split the assets. That's why, when you do go to family court for that type of thing and whoever gets custody and depending on that, then they might require the other partner to pay for. That's how child support gets divvied up to is based on who's got custody and their income level and everything like that.

Speaker 1: 24:01

What kind of attorney does prenuptials Is it?

Speaker 2: 24:04

a divorce attorney yeah, divorce attorney, or a family law attorney.

Speaker 1: 24:08

Okay, can we call it family law? That sounds better.

Speaker 2: 24:10

Yes, a family law attorney.

Speaker 1: 24:13

Are they two different things?

Speaker 2: 24:15

It's two different sort of specialties, like they have. Oh, it is. Yeah, the knowledge base is different, but generally people that practice family law are going to cover that whole spectrum of things.

Speaker 1: 24:25

Okay, it just sounds based on family. Obviously, I'm a wedding planner who does things of like happy things. Okay, are there any cons to having a prenupt?

Speaker 2: 24:42

I think, just given how society views prenupts, it could be. Bringing it up can be controversial and it could start a whole thing. I remember when we as a kid watching TV shows and stuff whenever prenupts would come up, the context would always be that one party asks for a prenupt and it's like the parents who are wanting it because they think the other person who's marrying their child wants to steal their money, and then the person who's presented the prenupt like doesn't want to sign it. And then it's sort of this weird ultimatum thing. Like I feel like there's so many movie and TV storylines around prenupts being terrible. That's why we think they're terrible.

Speaker 1: 25:26

That was my next question because so often when we're planning with their clients, we're planning with the whole family, like that's it is in my case anyway. I don't know that that's the case with you, know everyone. But when this does come up, I tend to hear that, like from one side of the couple, either you know one of the fiance's that the other person's family wants parents wanting to happen. Nobody can force anyone into a prenupt, am I right, like you? Just you can just not do it and not get married, right? Or yeah, right, okay, okay, all right, good to know, good to know Anything else about either of these that we should like be weighing, like, like considering or weighing on.

Speaker 2: 26:20

I just think it's an overall kind of how we view how we view them and I'm glad we're having this conversation because hopefully this will take get forward progress of not thinking of prenupts in this really bad way and just thinking that, like I said at the beginning, thinking of as like the mature thing to do, the thoughtful thing to do, just just kind of like how they always say start, if you decide to go to couples counseling, start that when things are good and don't just do it when things are bad. And so it's sort of like prepare for your future when things are good. It's the same thing of like doing a will Nobody really wants to think about when they're going to die, but if you don't have your affairs in order, for the people that survive you, it's going to be an absolute mess. And so it's kind of the same thing like with a divorce If you don't have the affairs in order, it's going to be kind of a mess.

Speaker 1: 27:14

Yeah, I feel like someone just really needs to put that PDF together that says here's the list of all the things. The will the bank. What else did we talk about? Insurance, the will bank accounts, yep and prenupt yeah, tools, yeah.

Speaker 2: 27:29

I do talk about it in my book. Like I do talk about it a little bit in my books these kind of general conversations it's not like a nice neat PDF resource, but I definitely talk about like there are these uncomfortable conversations that you're going to have, I mean, outside of this talk. I think those other questions involve religion and children, like to have kids, to not have kids, just sort of religion separately, but like if we do have kids, then how are we raising them religion-wise? Like these are all things that people need to talk about. Yeah, let's, let's refresh everybody on your book.

Speaker 1: 28:04

I think that's actually a really good idea. I should have thought oh, I should bring that up now because that actually is a perfect perfect space to go to, so tell us about the book again.

Speaker 2: 28:16

And we have a whole.

Speaker 1: 28:17

I know we have a whole episode on it, but you know like well, we talk about it in the episode, so go ahead, give us a little juice I spent my time during the pandemic writing a book.

Speaker 2: 28:25

It is called the Wedding Roller Coaster. It came out in April of 2001 and it deals with the emotional side of planning a wedding, and so I felt like there's a ton of how-to books out there, like how to actually plan the wedding, like when to send or save the dates, fun ways to ask members of your people to be your members of your wedding party, like all that stuff. But there wasn't anything that talked about like ooh, how do we have these really uncomfortable conversations about money with our families if they're paying for it? Or how do we have these uncomfortable conversations with each other when we're trying to like break down what does marriage mean and what kind of baggage am I bringing from past relationships and things like that. And so there is talk in there about having prenups I support. In the book I talk about how I'm a fan of prenups and it talks about deciding how you're gonna handle money.

Speaker 2: 29:17

Another one this is actually can be controversial is if somebody's changing, if somebody's taking the other person's last name and if they decide not to do that, and then there might be some. I have heard from friends that there is has been friction over somebody's decision not to take their partner's last name, and so all of this is stuff. To just get it, I get it out on the table before you walk down the aisle.

Speaker 1: 29:44

Yeah, and I think we talked about this in that episode. It was a long, that was a long time ago. That was a long time ago. But those conversations I feel like should be had with your fiance first, separately from family, so that you can kind of be on the same page before and then every one else is involved when possible.

Speaker 1: 30:11

Sometimes parents are ahead of you, but your book can help people to get ahead of that, so we'll make sure there's a link in the show notes to your book as well. I know that we can give that a name as well, I'm sure right.

Speaker 1: 30:30

Yeah, I feel like it's from reading before Okay, great, it was so perfect. I actually feel so much better about pre-nup style because, just like you and, I think, everyone listening, it just seemed like such a negative thing. But it's really not. When you think about it's along the same vein as we gotta make decisions on the insurance, we gotta make decisions on in the future, a will and banking. If we just put it all on that same level, then really it's not so bad.

Speaker 2: 31:02

You know and when you think, and yeah, I think my the point that I like to convey because I mentioned this before and I just kinda wanna like leave on this note which is just this idea that the people who entered into the marriage, you're not those same people when the marriage comes to a close.

Speaker 1: 31:19

And so like You're not in good frame of mind.

Speaker 2: 31:21

Yeah, you're just not those same people. So whatever somebody's intentions were on the day that you got married, like those intentions can change and it's gonna be highly emotionally charged and people are probably not making the best decisions, they're not making the nicest decisions, and so when you just kind of keep that in mind, like deciding now, when you are both just being able to think through everything clear-headed, is just gonna be so much more helpful than having to fight through all of that later on.

Speaker 1: 31:50

Yeah, oh, thank you for coming in the show Of course, and for something that I thought was gonna be a little bit contentious, but it's not. I mean, I'm smiling.

Speaker 2: 32:02

You know, it's all about the mindset, it's all how we feel it really is. It really is, it really is.

Speaker 1: 32:08

And just hearing from someone who actually knows and to make it seem like I know it's not gonna be a simple process, but if you can actually sit down and therapy therapy was the thing that you mentioned that should also be on that page of people like, of things to do, like decide to go to therapy from the beginning while things are in good shape, and then they stay in good shape.

Speaker 2: 32:30

Yeah, and then you have the tool. You have the tool, you're learning the tools to keep things in good shape yeah.

Speaker 1: 32:35

Yes, yeah, this was so good. Yeah, thank you, friend. Of course, it was good to see you and you're coming back very soon. Yes, we have a whole nother topic. Yes, that's. Is it heavier than this one? I can't remember.

Speaker 2: 32:49

I think it's heavy. I think I would say it's heavier, yeah, it's heavier, it's heavier, it's heavier. But I think that's why we did this one first, so we can make sure our boy loves you even more.

Speaker 1: 33:01

Okay, girl, I'll talk to you soon. Sounds good. Thank you, Bye. I'm so glad to be able to share my wedding experiences and expertise with you, and that my co-hosts are so giving it theirs. We truly do want you to have the best time at your wedding, and our hope is that this podcast is helping you to make your engagement time while planning your wedding that much easier.

Speaker 1: 33:24

May I ask a favor of you? If this is the case, would you just take a moment to leave a review of this podcast on your listening platform? It helps people just like you to find the podcast and to also find out their answer so they can make decisions. I would also absolutely love for you to give this versus that podcast a shout out on your social media. You can find us at this versus that wedding podcast on Instagram, and if you're interested in getting a chance to do this podcast on Instagram and if you would like me to help you with a specific question, a wedding decision, please by all means ask. Send me a DM. I would love to hear from you and maybe, just maybe even have you as a wedding cast on a future episode. How fun, thank you.